2018 Wrap Up

Hey-o~! I really want to do something like this and I come up with this wrap-up ideas because it was quite hard to focus on the positivity only without comparing other things; so here I go. >3<

I’ll make several lists of some great and wonderful things that happened to me during 2018; and I wish that it’s beneficial to everyone who reads, everyone in general, or just me, at least. >w<

1. True Love Drama

Yasss, people!! True Love squad/drama crews & actors/actresses and the process behind it has made me learned a lot of things. This was the first happiest moment in 2018 that I would cherish again and again; and though I’m aware that producing drama costs a lot of energy and time, I do enjoy it. I’m grateful for it. It turns out to be very beneficial for the present and future me. >w<

I used to think that what would benefit me was the fact that I wrote the script, so what’s beneficial is only the writing part. Turns out that it’s not that simple. Our lecturer said that we can learn a lot of things from this drama class, and I’ve proved that right!

I have this YA idea about contemporary, daily life in such futuristic city. At first, I was only excited about making the technology and how the citizen are so open to diversity, but then everything snowballs from there (in a good way, of course, wkwkw). As time goes by, I consider the age of my characters (because one of our stylist asked me how old Professor Milton is, and I said he’s 35 years old). I also think about how the microchip drama (lmao!) happens, works, and impact the characters’ lives. I basically just follow how True Love was created.

The storyline we made has a lot of hidden truths, and that’s how I found that my original YA characters aren’t just some random people coming to my dream, demanding me to make their stories. They’re complex human beings with lots of secrets and feelings and simple-yet-problematic motivation. Look at how Professor Milton wants a true love in his life, and how it can snowball. I didn’t realize that a short(?) process that I had during the True Love era has so much influence in crafting the same thing. (〇*>∀<)ゞ★☆

So, I’m very grateful because what brings me to be this critical towards my own story involved many many people, their helps, their insights, and the enjoyment we experienced while it lasted. I’m so UwU, everyone, thank you. (ﾉ≧ڡ≦)

2. Choices

Choices is a game created by Pixelberry Studios. It basically focuses on stories in which the MC is made based on how the player likes them to be. It creates an opportunity for the player to choose, to make strategies, to consider everything, and to enjoy the story in general.

I found that Choices offer me a lot of diverse themes that I rarely found on other stories. I can also build the MCs with my dream appearance and personality(?). And since the environment is very friendly, I get to make my characters to choose the love of their lives.

Choices is basically a visual novel, and this also introduces me to a new experience on reading a story. We can really focus on the story because they provide the pictures of the characters and their surroundings, so we mostly just get the dialog and the narration that explains what happens next. This makes me move on from one chapter to another rather quickly. I don’t have to stare at one page for too long because the story moves forward in its own way, and I found this very enjoyable. I just wish I can realize this sooner when I first played it in December 2017. Hehe. ﾟ.+(〃ﾉωﾉ)ﾟ.+°

I guess, it’s obvious that I’ll keep playing Choices for the next several years since I learn a lot from it and can enjoy it so much. ✿♥‿♥✿

3. Archive of Our Own (AO3)

Archive of Our Own, also known as AO3, is basically a website for fanfictions. There are bazillion fandoms there, with ranging stories and categories, and the tag culture that is so amazing you can even imagine what the story is about without having to decipher the blurb (like how several published books work) first.

I’d known AO3 since two or three years ago, and my one-celled brain thought it was just for archiving things. You know, only as a backup instead of a real website for the real writing. (Lmao, I’ve been sinning again, y’all. =w=)

But two months ago, exactly in October, I found a lot of potential fanfictions in the website and I can say I become addicted since then. The quality is great and the writing is mostly impeccable. As a bonus, we get the ships we want to sail written in a beautiful way. What kind of other heaven I would want more than this? xP

AO3 also brought me to a whole new level of thinking: these authors are not even paid, but they’re so dedicated, their writing is perfect, and I can definitely learn more precious things than I could’ve ever imagined. At that time, my perspective and my standing about publishing a book is a bit changed, and instead of aiming for money, I want to be as qualified as them in five years (yes, mark me, 2023, I will write and improve much better than the present me).

I know that some people write to make a living and it’s important to them, and I respect that. Nevertheless, I change. My perspective change. I might make a living from writing too, but the core motivation that I have has completely changed. I don’t know for how long, or whether it can be changed again. Right now, all I know is that I strive for that five years expand and see what I can get.

Yes, it feels like I start from zero again, and that I sometimes get intimidated by people’s sophisticated English. But, I do enjoy the time and the process while I’m writing. I can be so randomly happy, and I’ve never felt anything like this since centuries ago. I miss feeling like this, and—I will cherish every moment and never take anything for granted again (amin!). >w<

Some of you might wonder whether I write fanfiction, and yes, yes, oh my precious ships, I’m writing fanfictions! >W< The progress might be slow and I might not want to show it to people, but I’ve posted two chapters and I really like how things will be going on after this. (And no, it’s not on AO3 because getting the invitation needs some days waiting; and I guess I’m quite infamous for my impatience lmao. :P)

I might still write garbage and need more improving, but for now, I’m so inspired by those fanfiction authors whose works I’ve been reading. And once you’re motivated like this, it’s just hard to stop.

So, AO3 has so much influence for me in this year and I have no idea what will happen if I never met them. >w< I’ll definitely stay longer on this website more than on any other platform. My time will most likely be spent for reading fictions on AO3 more than on any other forms. And I think, it’s just about time that I can finally enjoy reading and writing for what they are. >w<

4. VIXX

Holy crank, y’aaaaall. I’ve been wanting to share how I stan VIXX because my journey is quite long and it doesn’t happen in a night-time. o(>< o)

This is the time when I’ll confess how I can be crazy about these six gorgeous men, but before that, let me elaborate how come I notice and finally know the name until this year.

from left to right: Leo, Ken, N, Hongbin, Hyuk, & Ravi

It was in 2015 before college year, but after national exam, that I met my cousins on the short holiday. One likes Voodoo Doll, and the other likes Hyde, so they showed me both MVs in turn. I remember it because when I rewatch Voodoo Doll last month, I recognize the gore scenes involving eyes and stitches (I still can’t stand the gore scenes until now, lol). And I remember this man with relatively long hair and black lips and wings on Hyde (it’s Leo); and three years ago they said the songs are so ear-catchy but my one-celled brain couldn’t accept it, so. I forgot.

In the second semester, my college friend introduced me Chained Up MV, but then again, my one-celled brain didn’t recognize how beautiful the song is. It wasn’t until the third semester that I watched Fantasy MV by my own and I got caught with the song. I began liking the song, but only that one song, for the whole semester.

In 2017, I needed some casts for my story, Tak Pernah Berkurang, and I only know N because he was the Ha Dong Jae in Sassy Go Go. I look for other members and recognize Leo, and so they become my casts on Tak Pernah Berkurang.

In 2018, I watched a mash-up song of Shangri La and Sistar’s I Like It on YouTube. Both songs are so incredible, and I finally liked Shangri La too. People been telling me that Scentist is also good, but some songs took me some times to like.

Well, I guess, this is the most interesting and important part: in the fifth week of internship program, exactly on Thursday, August the 30^th, I ditched the school and went right to my friend’s boarding house. She was sick at that time, so I thought I could use the “spare” time to visit her. I showed her Shangri La MV and things snowballed from there.

During September, I watched some VIXX songs on YouTube. I learned each of the member’s name. I even found that video where VIXX sang Wonder Girls’ So Hot. On Instagram, I found a lot of their videos playing games and being funny, so I was such a baby (until now, actually) Starlight since then.

In October, I decided to make another account for fangirling, and that’s how I found a lot of great stuffs about VIXX. I watched a lot of their MVs (including Voodoo Doll clean version, Hyde, the conception trilogy [The Closer, Fantasy, Dynamite]—you guys should watch these because it features some greek mythology references, and many others), their stage performances, their games, their FMVs, their MTV and travel diaries, their W parody, and many many more. I didn’t even know that there’s been this gas station joke (Hyuk was left alone there, apparently) until I’d seen people talking about it.

I also found a lot of fan arts and fanfictions that never cease to warm my heart because they’re so great and they definitely deserve the world. >w<

Until now, I’m still head over heels towards VIXX and though this comes as a big surprise to me, I don’t even regret it.

5. Twitter

Yes, this platform has been a surprise too for me, since it leads to so many wonderful stuffs. I got a lot of inspirational tweets about writing and fan fictions, and I see some fanfic authors who embrace their works without any hesitation.

Twitter has taught me a lot, especially how to express whatever I wanna share, including some sh*ts about my Choices progress and how much I really love AO3. I didn’t consider Twitter that much at first because I was transfering from Facebook to Instagram; but Instagram has never been my favorite place. I get easily bored, and even when I really like seeing people’s stories, I sometimes forgot I even have Instagram and ended up opening other apps.

On Twitter, though, people seem to be free in talking endlessly. Unlike Facebook, I found a lot of comfort here (yes, I’m one of those people who found Facebook—instead of Instagram—as a toxic place because, mood despite Facebook being my most favorite social media platform, so there’s that).

On Twitter, it doesn’t feel like I spam too much, or that I’m being too noisy—because if you do the same on Facebook, you will literally appear again and again on people’s feeds. And it will seem like you talk too much (the same with Twitter, but not the same the same.)

I know Twitter might have its own downhill, but for now, I’m so addicted with this platform and I don’t think I can figure out a way to get out of it. (Do I even regret it, though? xP)

As an addition, I found a lot of good vibes from the authors and the fandom in general regarding to writing. They encourage each other to just write, they admit that writing and reading fan fiction can release their stress (and it happens to me too, I guess) and how I want to write for fun too. Again, I think my writing is still garbage, but at least I try and I can enjoy doing what I love (a thing I should be able to feel since long ago). So yeah, VIXX, Twitter, and AO3 are helping me a lot and I am so grateful for this. >3<

On a lighter note, I still enjoy Goodreads and all the downhill I’ve been experiencing these past several months (*enjoy the downhill *what am I even saying). I still have no idea whether I will read those certain books again or not, because look at the list. Look at the more friendly environment my mental health would gladly embrace. Look at all of the positivity I can absorb and experience freely. I know Goodreads is such a friendly place, too; it’s designed that way and Goodreads itself allows us readers to review honestly. But some people... those defensive ones... I’m just too afraid to read their works, y’know. LMAO, now I’m not sinning anymore.

There’s also that one time in this particular class last semester in which one of my lecturers encouraged me to keep writing no matter what happens. It was so heart-warming and that I felt empowered, so I’m gonna add that here and I wouldn’t forget. (≧∀≦ゞ

Well, I guess that’s all that I can share because it’s already long (I love being productive #lie :P (ง ° ͜ ʖ °)ง). I do love 2018, all of the amazing things that nourish and nurture me to be a much better person, the guide this universe has given to me to help me see my truest goals more clearly, the opportunity to love some talented people and enjoy what I deserve to enjoy, and to finally see that I can stand on my own. This year’s been great, and I couldn’t ask for a much better 2018.

Thanks for reading and see you on another post~! (●≧ω≦)9